Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
