Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
