i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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