There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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