u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
