its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
