There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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