On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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