i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
