I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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