This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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