3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
