There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
