he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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