whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
