You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
