i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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