My room smells like vodka and shame
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
porn star boner night. come get it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?