For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
