My friends, they love my intelligence
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Every concussion has its silver lining
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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