Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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