She is in my trunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
