so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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