I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
