Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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