Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
