what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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