the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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