Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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