I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
