Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
