Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
