my vag is so smooth its legendary
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
