he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bring me that man meat
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
