We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
