I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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