Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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