I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
