it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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