i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
