It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
