So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
