eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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