ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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