Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dating After Heartbreak
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation