I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?