I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson