omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it