Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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