Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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