Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
