No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's always time for handjobs
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
