apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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