Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
only if we run a train.
done.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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