Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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