we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
