the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
