Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
His nipple licking is glorious
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