That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
