just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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