Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drunk is not a location!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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