just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
